This is what i want. I know it is.
I want to move in with Crystal more than anything right now, and it was brought up a while back, then put back on the back burner and now its up again. and its not a bad thing, please people don't get me wrong. i'm just scared.
she was just here. Its funny but every time she leaves now it feels wrong. like it shouldn't be happening. like i should be going with her, not staying at this odd house with these other people, its relaxation time now; time to kick back and shower, watch a movie, pick my things up, so i should be going home with her now.
We've only been dating a little over half a year. is this inmature of me? am i simply saturating myself too deeply into one woman or is this really just meant to be?
last night on our walk we were talking about what i forget and i started to ask her basically, well, when you get back next year are we, btu thats as far as i got. i am doing my best not to add pressure. i dont' want things to deteriorate like they did before. i live in constant fear that it will. but she egged me on. i was like naw, never mind, i dont' wanna ask that. she told me she wanted me to ask that. so i did. she said yes. then we discussed the idea of me moving into her fathers while she was gone. and i told her that i wanted to live with her for a while before she went and that if she were to honestly ask me to move out and into her house, i would.
here are my only problems.
1) i am afraid living with me will remind her of why things fell apart before.
2) her dad wouldnt' like it.
3) mom would be upset.
4) she would have to provide for me until i started working.
advice. i need advice. lots of it.
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